BAMF | COCOROSE BOUTIQUE

I had the esteemed pleasure of being in the presence of a bunch of boss babes this morning. The morning was all about entrepreneurship, making room for yourself, and a little retail therapy. Take a peek at my morning:

The Rose Bushes

I attended a bereavement facilitator training today in Glendale, California. I've been meaning to attend for awhile, and I finally got to go. Go me! During the training time, we had a mock grief session, in which they asked for volunteers. Turns out, it wasn't a mock session in that we weren't going to be pretending and going through the motions, we were actually going to be going through a real group, but it would be observed. I volunteered, because by this time in my life I'm pretty stoic and good at talking about my losses and the new normals in my life. That stuff I said is all true except the talking part, I'm not very good at talking right now because I have a healing head injury, but thats another story. Each participant goes through their story, and it comes to my turn. I realize that my story telling style is a lot different now. I tell my story, sprinkled with teaching points (for myself and others, as always) and I come to the end, and pass off the mic and apologize for not just sticking with the program and for having an issue just telling my story. The issue I've always had is having to be the stronger person after telling my story. Having to share the silver lining, and the teachable moment. I can't just be the grieving person. The facilitator looks at me with this face of both empathy and perhaps amazement? In my head I am already saying "no, no, no- don't do that, you're supposed to tell me to just grieve, and stay in that space, and thats the healthy way to do things." But no. She shares with me a vision she had while I was speaking. She saw a field of roses. She shared that in her vision, after each loss I encountered, I went outside and planted a yellow rose bush. Eventually, I was able to look outside and see a beautiful field of roses. I was able to see something good come of all I've experienced. As for now, with all I do in both fields I'm in as a nurse and a minister, I'm seeing those roses. My experiences have made way for them, and what a blessing that is.

"The Talk"

I want kids. I really do.  But, I just stumbled upon the realization that I will eventually have to have “the talk” with my child. Now, not that talk, -the birds and the bees- talk. The –if you’re confronted by the police, put your hands where they can see them, state your full name, and stay as calm as possible- talk. This broke my heart. I understand that police officers are doing their job, and that they are put in situations daily that put their lives at risk, but the fact that I have to have a conversation with my ten year old to ensure that they will make it home alive is truly heartbreaking. This just goes to show the state of the world we live in. Everyone is afraid of everyone. Everyone has to go with his or her first impulse. Their first mind. What is the way to mend this world we live in? Is it even possible? I don’t know if it is, but I know what we can do as for now. For now, we can teach our children to obey the law. To respect the police, to state their full name, and keep their hands where they can see them.  We can also teach them that not all people are scary and that the world is inherently good, and we should choose to see it that way. We should teach our children that the glass is half full, and teach them to embrace all the good that life brings. It really starts with what we show them, how we live. It starts with our example. So let’s make it a good one, yea? 

Washing Your Face & The Parallel

Some products I've been using/trying out. :)

I've never been one for multi-step skin care regimens. Well, that was up until lately. This happened partly because I watch entirely too much youtube, and partially because I'm on the verge of turning 30 in 2 short years and I don't want my skin to get any bright ideas. I've never been much of a "wash your face apart from taking a shower" type girl either. In the recent past I've been more of a "maybe take off your makeup, maybe not- & face-plant into bed" type of girl.

All of that is really beside the point.
Washing your face at night is a great idea. I've recently taken more care to be intentional about what I do before bed. Washing my face, putting on some great smelling lotion (bath & bodyworks anyone?), setting the tone for relaxation with either worship music or some other mellow music, and then climbing into bed, setting my alarm, and off to sleep I go.

Washing my face has become such a huge pre-bed ritual for me for a few reasons. The main one, and really the only one worth mentioning, is because it feels great! I feel amazingly clean and fresh. This is even aside from the fresh feeling taking a shower gives. It's like I've washed all of whatever the day has brought me right down into the drain, and given myself a blank slate for the next day. THATS THE PARALLEL. Take it how you will. I think it's important to 1. give yourself a jumpstart on the next day (clean face/clear mind), 2. give yourself the most restful sleep possible (fresh face/ fresh perspective), and 3. to participate in a little self love everyday (skin care/soul care).

Wash away whatever today has brought you, and start fresh tomorrow. Literally and figuratively. Wash your face, give your cares to God, & go to sleep. We'll try again tomorrow. 

Family Photos 12•15•15

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jwphotondesign 2015 all rights reserved

I don't know if you can tell, but this very photogenic little boy (above) was less than pleased that I was photographing him. This shot was taken in between meltdowns with his mom and sister holding him up in the air in hopes to get at least one good shot of him. The trick to this shot was patience, settings that would compensate for movement, family participation, and a little post production magic. Can't you see the "I just cried, I might cry again" twinkle in his eyes? 

Upon delivering the photographs to this beautiful family, he was a little more happy to see me. I look forward to photographing him again sometime soon. Here are a couple more shots from the shoot: 

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jwphotondesign 2015 all rights reserved

Beauties, inside and out. 

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This beautiful girl was a natural in front of my lens. She had the head tilt/shoulder drop combination down, and all I could really say was FIERCE.

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jwphotondesign 2015 all rights reserved

My best advice for a squirmy or grumpy toddler is to find something that they like, whether its a silly song, a fun game, or, as a last resort: a tablet. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 ramblings

My cousin Michael brought an amazing message on Sunday based around Proverbs 3:5-6. 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do & He will show you which path to take. ”

— Proverbs 3:5-6

He spoke so eloquently about allowing God to direct and appoint our steps, and why we cannot depend on ourselves to make sound decisions regarding our spiritually (or most things, honestly). He spoke about our minds being susceptible to enemy invasion, and how our thought life is the most challenging for us as believers- or humans in general. 

I'm in the process of creating a vision board for the coming year. My vision board contains things I aspire to have, do, and be, inspirational quotes, & bits and bobs that will motivate me. I've hand written scripture, cut images and words out of magazines, and decorated it so that it's aesthetically appealing, although I feel it would be anyways- because, come on- it's all the things I want. 

It got me to thinking- your focus really is everything. Where your focus is, is what is most evident.

On the positive side, you can be incredibly productive and effective in the Kingdom of God with the right focus. You can have a God centered- God approved plan and be right in the center of God's will. 

On the negative side, you can be ineffective or even detrimental to the Kingdom if you have the wrong focus. 
One small thought can overwhelm and cripple if dwelled on too long. Similarly, I am nearsided- I only see what is immediate to my situation or plan and I likely have no foresight. This led me to question how I can be trusted with things regarding my spirituality. I mean, come on- "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, & desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" - Jeremiah 17:9. Looking at the negative standpoint from a different aspect- If I decide to be self serving in my Kingdom work, I'm not truly showing the Light of Christ, but my own selfish ambition.

We are so quick to make plans- and then head out after them without even considering what God thinks/feels about it. I'm incredibly guilty of this. I have a seemingly great idea and just hop to it without giving any thought to God's feeling on the matter. As I sit and type this now I'm saddened to think of how often I neglect to consult my most important relationship concerning my plans, ideas, and goals. YIKES.

By all means, chase your dreams - and chase them hard, but don't forget to consider God's plan before and throughout your striving. Evaluate and reevaluate your motivation, refocus your mind and heart, and recenter yourself to God's will.

Then surrender. God will give you the true desire of your heart in accordance to his will, plan, and your best interest. After all, He is the one that give life- to you and your plans.

“Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own, it is not for them to direct their steps.”

— Jeremiah 10:23

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. ”

— Proverbs 16:9

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

— Proverbs 19:21

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”

— Proverbs 20:24

If we trust God, don't depend on our nearsided and limited understanding, and seek His will- He will guide us, step by step, instruction by instruction. 

But of course, as always, you get to choose. 

Mexico Mission Trip Oct 2015

I just got back from Ciudad Morelos, B.C., Mexico! God is so amazing, and we had a great, safe trip. Why did I go you ask? Well, let me tell you all about it. 

God ignited a passion for missions in my heart when I was in high school (some time ago now). I was able to travel to Mexico with Christ's Church of the Valley in San Dimas, CA, and have been itching to return ever since. 

I received the opportunity through Water of Life Community Church in Fontana, CA to travel to Mexico with a small team of individuals with servant hearts. I crowd funded and was able to receive the funds needed to get my passport and pay for my traveling fees. The trip got postponed, but the time finally came this past weekend. 

We had an amazing time. God provided beautiful sunrises and sunsets, a remarkable lightning storm, and most importantly: intimate time with Him and the beautiful children that call Agua de Vida Orphanage their home. 

It's such a blessing to be used by God; to sense a need and be able to fill it. Seeing the joy on the faces of those precious children and the pastor and wife who care for them day to day was priceless. We stayed on the grounds of the orphanage and catered to the needs of all who lived there. Our goal was to give Pastor Mario and his wife Veronica rest, and to create big brother/sister relationships with the children. We did just that. We cooked, we cleaned, and we did yard work. We played, we prayed, and we had tons of fun. This experience was both fulfilling and eye opening. Children have so much joy! Its particularly interesting because they have far less than the children here stateside are used to, however, they have far more joy than our children do. The sense of community is overwhelmingly beautiful. They are living, walking, breathing testimonies, and I'm so blessed to have been able to visit them for the weekend. I look forward to going back as soon as possible, and I truly hope I can make that happen in December. Continue to pray for those beautiful people.

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I am typically pretty good with kids. I've been working with kids since I was a kid, and now I'm a pediatric nurse and I have a pretty great track record. None of that crossed the border with me. It was difficult for me to draw these kids out of their shells, especially because my Spanish is extremely rusty. One of the things that stuck out for me was God's prompting me to relax, to not force things, and to just go with the flow. I don't believe that was a lesson that was intended to stay in Mexico. Where I feel I may be good at something, God continues to humble me so that I realize where my gifts and talents come from. One of the sweet leaders for the trip confirmed what God was speaking at the end of the trip, so that was really cool. 
Soon after this revelation the kids warmed up to me, and we had an amazing time- even amidst the language barrier. A great heart and a warm smile is transcendent.

I'm so grateful for these kids and the team that I traveled with. These types of experiences put life into perspective- and you know how I feel about that.

Life is beautiful, especially if you choose to see it as such. 

♡

Good Grief

I wrote an entire blog post concerning taking the bad and finding the good, and it got deleted, in its entirety. Ironic. 
I have learned to laugh at my occasional misfortune, because as much as I may think it's a common presence in my life, it truly is few and far in between.

I've been doing an outrageous amount of thinking lately. I mean, above and beyond my normal hyper-active-overly-analytical thinking that I do on top of my critically-always-thinking that I do for work. So excuse me if I ramble. 

Life. It's a rollercoaster of sorts. In the last few weeks I have had some painful events occur in my family. My grandmother received her promotion to heaven. Put like that, it doesn't seem as bad as it is right? My cousin's good friend made his exit a short while after. He checked out of earth hotel and went home. That doesn't sound too bad either. In fact, those sound like good things. Thats the way I've been attempting to rewire my thinking. God called His children home. The streetlights were on, it was curfew. I just didn't know it, until I knew it. Thats the thing with this life. You don't know when time is up until it is. These events have put a lot of things in perspective for me. Time is fragile and temporary. Life is short and sweet. People are mortal. 

I didn't get all into that to sing you a sad song or anything like that. I just want to share my perspective. I don't think everything has hit me yet. But, even if it has, it's a matter of perspective. Life doesn't suck. The events that happen in the duration of this life do. It's never ALL bad. Whatever you shift your focus to will be more evident. I love my grandma and, like all who have gone before her, I'll miss her with every fiber of my being. I'll see her soon though. That might sound bad, but if you think about how short life ACTUALLY is, it's really not. From Gods perspective, life is only a moment. We are here and then we aren't and thats okay because we have a purpose in the moments that we are here and then we get to go home. It's like being sent  somewhere on assignment and then when your assignment is up, you get to go home.

I didn't mean to get into all of that either. (see how my brain works?) All that I intended to say really, is to look at the good. There are good things that came out of these unfortunate circumstances... like, the challenge to appreciate life, my family being drawn even closer together, and the reminder to cherish our loved ones and the time we have with them. I wouldn't wish any negative situations on anyone. Pain and loss are difficult to maneuver through. If you can deal with grief appropriately, and give yourself the opportunity to feel, and process, and work through the situation, I believe you'll find the silver lining (regardless of how small or faint).
It's better with God and at the end of the day with God, life is still good. 

National Suicide Prevention Week

Suicide prevention and Mental health awareness are two interlinking causes that I'm passionate about. Part of my story includes a dark time that is briefly described below in my recent FB and Instagram post. I find it so important, though scary sometimes, to be vulnerable in sharing these not so glorious times of our lives so that someone else can see the Light.

twloha.com | TWLOHA is an amazing cause based company that lists resources and insightful and encouraging posts regarding suicide awareness and prevention. You can click the link above to check them out. Here is a blog post from last year that I found incredibly touching.

I don't think people realize that depression doesn't look the same for everyone. Some people you know could be incredibly anxious, depressed, and suicidal, and you may never-ever know. It takes intentionality to know the state of ones mind and heart. 

instagram.com/lilsoldiergirl

"Suicide is complex. It usually occurs gradually, progressing from suicidal thoughts, to planning, to attempting suicide and finally dying by suicide." ---

I am so fortunate that I had friends that were actually connected to and concerned about me in high school. I hit my lowest point and was very mentally unstable. They would hand write me letters and hide note cards with scriptures and encouraging words in my bag. I'm so blessed to have had people who noticed my need and reached out the best they could. 

I don't know that I'd still be here without them and without God. God sends angels to touch you physically when you can't feel Him. His presence was all around me even though I couldn't understand at the time. 
From the bottom of my heart, Thank you Makkael & Russell. 

This is part of the reason I'm so passionate about this cause. People need people and every moment counts. So if you need me, I'm here. I got you. I got us because God has us. 
If you need a sign, here it is. 
Please don't go. 
Stay.

♡

Busy

It's been F O R E V E R!

I haven't given myself the time to blog or read or write, or anything else I really like to do.
I've been rushing around, adjusting to my new work schedule, working a ton, and returning to school. 
Do I have a whole list of excuses for why I don't do what I should? YES I DO!
Will I give them to you? Nah, I'll spare you.

I do, however want to share a verse with you that slapped me in the face this morning as I had my make-shift/half-way quiet time ( sorry Lord ).

“We are merely moving shadows,
and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.
We heap up wealth, not knowing who
will spend it.”

— Psalm 39:6 (NLT)

Um... ouch. 
Words like "futile" or "pointless" come to mind. Other words like "temporary" and "fleeting" came to mind as well.
I had to take a second to really think about this verse (and the accompanying devotional). What's it all for? All these things that I do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis... what for? I'm only here for a short while, like a shadow, a mist, a vapor.
The devotional stressed p u r p o s e. All that we store up here will eventually fade away. In the scope of eternity, only what we do for Christ, truly matters. 

There are some things that you just can't edit out of your schedule. I'm currently a full time student and a full time nurse, I can't just stop doing either one of those things because of what I envision for my future, who God has created me to be, and what God has created me to do. #goals
I can, however, shift my focus and embrace the purpose throughout these chapters of my life. Who can I touch? What life can I change? How will I make the most of the time that I spend at each place I go? 

“Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men.”

— Colossians 3:23 (HCSB)

Do it for the Vine.

Take time to reevaluate. What really matters? What can be changed? How can you change your mind to change your life?

Take time. Take heart. Take initiative.
You got this! 
Have a great day!

♡

Can you make a blog post from an Instagram post? That might be backwards, but oh well. WHAT EVEN ARE RULES?! 

“The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
They comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.”

— Psalm 23

Another version says He refreshes my soul. Another says He renews my strength. Yet another says He lets me catch my breath.

I need all of those things.

Busy=impactful/important right? We have so much going on that we can't even think straight half the time and we are on autopilot most of the time. On top of that, this world has some messed up stuff going on. You can't even turn on the news or social media without being brought down by the latest tragedy.

When we shift our focus off of what we see and focus in on God's face & character, we give him the opportunity to let us catch our breath.. To let us be renewed, refreshed, and strengthened. When we give ourselves the opportunity to rest in Him, we allow Him the opportunity to restore us. We are more capable of handling all life throws at us when we are nurturing our most important relationship- the one with our Maker.

Life's better with God.

Do Life Together

DO LIFE TOGETHER
Countercultural thinking at its finest. 

These days that we navigate through are all about "me," "my," & "I can do bad all by myself." While that may be true, that mindset gets lonely. I will state right off the bat that some seasons of life must be walked alone (not lonely), some days we need to take a step back and just be alone with God,  and past experiences can make it hard to trust and be vulnerable. 

While all the afore mentioned are true, life wasn't meant to be lived as an island. I'm grateful for the times I've spent alone, so I can learn who I am and what I need. I'm also, though, incredibly grateful for my close, small circle of friends who hold me acountable and hold a mirror to my face so I can see my strengths and weaknesses, cause me to grow, and who love me through it, flaws and all. 

It's really easy for me to check out when I feel like I'm not being fulfilled, or I'm too preoccupied with whatever is going on in my life. Selfish right? Go ahead... you can say it. I get so caught up trying to reach my goals that I loose sight of whats going on in my loved ones' lives. God has really been checking me lately about staying connected to the people that love me, and being intentional about nurturing those relationships. This scripture was impressed on my heart:

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

— Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

People need people! I'm not saying get all up in the Kool-aid without knowing the flavor or being invited, but definitely make yourself available, and allow people to be there for you as well. I definitely struggle with that at times: i.e.. "I got me," "I got this," etc., etc.. Allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to need someone to talk to, or to occasionally lean on, or to help you. It's a great feeling to have people in your corner rooting for you. I truly feel in my heart that staying connected is a key component to staying mentally healthy. 

Pause right now and think about who you keep close to you. Which opinions matter to you? Who gives sound advice? Who can you call in the middle of the night? These types of relationships aren't microwave fast, they take dedication. Although sometimes hard, these types of relationships are incredibly beneficial. 

Life is not meant to be lived alone. Humans are relational beings. We need people to laugh and cry with, people to encourage us, and people to love. 

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

— Proverbs 27:17

People need people! You need to have God centered kings and queens around you in order to stay sharp. Two dull implements won't do each other any good. Take a good look around you to look at the company you keep. You know they say that bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33), so surround yourself with people who push you to be the best you, you can be.

Reach out to someone you care about today, & tell them you love them. Make an effort to stay connected & keep good company.

Make a commitment to do life together. 

♡

I can't do it & 5 tips so you can.

I can't do it. 

I mean, yes, I can. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13). I can work full time, go to school full time, hang out with friends often, attend to my family, blog, successfully run my business, fulfill my church and ministry responsibilities, cook and eat 3 square meals a day, keep up with whats going on in the news, keep my house clean, date, spend personal on purpose time with God, and wear a smile because I've gotten 8-10 hours of sleep every night for the past month and I'm living life like it's golden. 

See? Impossible. Well, it's possible to cram all those things into life, but the latter parts about the 8-10 hours of sleep & smile may be fiction. 

Pushing yourself go-go-go sounds like what we're supposed to be doing, it's whats socially acceptable. Importance has become almost synonymous with busy & busy can lead to becoming burned out if we aren't careful. We also miss out on important aspects of our life when we are rushing through it, relationships and experiences alike.

A GOD THING

I read this book recently called S.H.A.P.E - Finding & Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees. One section in particular stuck out to me, and I won't insert the whole thing here, but I encourage you to check it out if you so feel inclined. I'll bullet some major points:

• God will speak when you stop. 
  WHOA! Face palm, right? So often we try to get with God on the go and we don't take the time to listen or listen effectively. Praying in passing is ok, but on purpose intimate quiet time is essential. (Ps 37:7a)

My pastor just spoke on this over the weekend! 

“Again and again, as we pursue spiritual life, we must do battle with hurry. For many of us the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it. ”

— Joh Ortberg

• Being busy divides our focus and hurry compounds the issue.
• Sabbath: a day of rest, a day to recharge our batteries & refocus on our relationship with God. (Genesis 2:2-3)
• Only a loving, kind, & gracious God would insist that His children do something so completely valuable and beneficial- simply, REST. 

A GOOD THING

Rest is so hard for me. I either feel like I'm being unproductive, or I find things to do- counterproductive. but, aside from needing to quiet ourselves to spend time with God, our bodies need rest, downtime & recharge time. It should go without saying that physically, our body can only meet the demands of life when it's cared for properly. 

Here are some tips that I try to use to actively rest (is that a thing?) I probably mean effectively (see: Exhaustion).

1. Unplug. Yes, we hear this often & it's super hard, but it's necessary. The world, Kim K, & Instagram can wait for an hour or two, or eight. 
2. Take a nap. An hour or two of extra sleep is so refreshing, and can do wonders. 
3. Jot it down. If your mind is reeling with all the things you must accomplish, write them down & set them aside for later. Yes, write EVERYTHING you have in your head, and set it aside. I'll grab you a ream of paper. 
4. Set the tone. I love music! Something soothing and positive normally does the trick for me. I use music to set the tone for whatever I'm doing, and relaxation time is no different. 
5. Warm your Body&Soul. Take a bath or a dip in the jacuzzi. A warm shower will also help. Soothing smells like lavender, vanilla, or camomile also assist in relaxing your body. (or just mine)

Ok, 5 Things are listed here, but your unique possibilities are endless. Listen to your body, it knows what it needs & you know what helps you unwind. The most important takeaway here is to grant yourself the opportunity to rest and recharge so that you can continue to be the rockstar you are. If you keep pushing too long, the effects could be pretty bad. Fatigue & illness are just the beginning. Give yourself permission to just be. Be with God & let him speak, rest in Him & He will renew your strength. 

♡

Shoutout

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http://kuzmenkojay.wix.com/justjulia

“unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm.”

— Isaiah 7:9b

You can follow her journey on snapchat @justjuliahulia or on Instagram @justjuliagulia

JULIA! 

She is an incredibly multitalented, encouraging & mad inspiring person & currently she is in PERTH, AUSTRALIA. 

I met her awhile ago through some awesome Bay Area Peeps, and she has never ceased to amaze me with her faith and her determination to be who God created her to be. 

I wanted to share about her because she is currently day by day learning how to trust God for the unthinkable. She is currently in another country learning how to advance the kingdom of God and reach those who are victims of slavery, prostitution, and human trafficking. Currently she only has part of the funding necessary to participate in the classes she needs, but is continuing to step out on faith that God will continue to make a way for her to do His will. 

Its incredible to me how often we won't step out on faith for even little things, while God wants us to dream bigger and have faith that He can do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can even fathom. 

I am inspired every time I think of her story: she quit her job to do art (she's amazing) and to open herself up to a move of God & God sustained her. She felt him guiding her to this YWAM program in Australia, and not knowing how it would be funded she stepped out on faith, and God is funding it as she goes. 

What I take from this is that God doesn't necessarily show you the whole picture. What He will do is give you the pieces, piece by piece to succeed in the plan He has for you if you're open to it. When we surrender to His will and are sensitive to His leading He will give us the information and the resources as they are needed. We are never without, and life is an adventure waiting to be unveiled as we continue to trust and move forward. 

I hope her story inspires you like it does me, & if you feel lead to contribute to her journey, please do. 

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This is an awesome mini portrait she did of me on a thoughtful card. :)

Outlook

As I was reaching for a watch to wear this morning, I got to thinking. I reached for one, then realized it didn't particularly match what I was wearing how I wanted it to. I then reached for another watch that fit my color scheme better. *Cues Big Sean's "Blessings"*

FIRST WORLD LUXURIES. 

I felt so blessed this morning as I looked around my bathroom. I had an option of which watch I wanted to wear, I HAD AN OPTION, SMH. I looked a bit to my right, and had some fresh flowers in all their glory beautifully arranged on my counter. I walked out of my bathroom into my temperature controlled bedroom, picked up my smart phone that does anything and everything I need it to do, and strolled outside to my three year old vehicle. I drove less than thirty minutes to my job doing something that positively affects people's lives everyday. I even picked up a cold tasty drink from a drive through Starbucks en route, simply because thats what my heart desired. Now as I type, I'm sitting a my dream computer (I'm a MAC).

FIRST WORLD LUXURIES.

Its not often enough that we pause to take inventory of our blessings. I took the time to break things down to the very air in my lungs that my body is automatically regulating. Thats a blessing. It's when we take the time to shift our focus to our blessings, and off our everyday stresses and struggles that we get an amazing perspective face lift. The more often we focus even on the lesser thought of, more taken for granted things like the ability to brush our hair and teeth, the fact that we have hair and teeth, the fact that we know whether or not we have hair or teeth, we begin to have a more positive and grateful outlook on life. 

Ultimately, you choose your perspective and your perspective sets the tone for the day. So make the day great! Choose gratefulness. 

Dream Big

I’ve decided to start praying ‘as You see fit’ instead of 'if You see fit' because if suggests that our God is a God of maybes, instead of definite and infinite possibilities beyond anything we can fathom.

It is so beautiful to see God work. I feel that its true that we don't dream big enough for Him. He probably shrugs at our small dreams, thinking, "oh my child, if only you really knew." This quote from C.S. Lewis sums that up perfectly: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” ( C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses ). Or maybe this quote: "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark." ( Michelangelo Buonarroti ) 
Dream big, friends. God is looking to blow your mind making your wildest dreams come true when they line up with who He created you to be, and the plan He has for your life. Keep in mind, He gives you creative liberties with your life and He rejoices when you are being the best you that you can be. :)

Spending $$ = Happiness?

Why do we run up our credit cards?

Feelings make me spend money. Happy feelings, sad feelings, meh/blah feelings. They make me do it. I always think a new dress will help, and if that doesn't - shoes definitely do the trick... But for how long? I think about it and I'm like, hey, why not throw a hunned (one hundred- I swear I don't always talk like that, but I do think like that.. I digress) on a credit card and call it a day. No one gets hurt, I get a quick pick me up, and I don't miss out on any liquid funds I may need in the next two weeks between now and payday. No big deal right? Well, on occasion I don't think it would matter so much, but as a habit or a coping mechanism, or an addiction- all bad. All b a d. The bill comes, and now you owe $____.58 ( I won't put myself in blast this time). That sucks, what happened? It was only those 4 times when I let my emotions swipe my credit card... And then my credit cards good friend interest met up and  they procreated and boom- higher amount that I owe and have to pay back.

I sat through a series of really motivation and inspirational seminars (classes? workshops? I don't know what to call things these days. Seminar sounds important, let's go with that) with a highly engaging facilitator (shout out to my cousin Michael- ayyeee ((I'm doing it again. I swear I don't say these things in daily life)) ) and he gave us some pointers and some disciplines or tools to take into our daily life. Let me tell you that interest sucks, and it draws out the paying off process... Especially if you decide to only pay the minimum payment. So my advice is to try to only use your liquid funds to pay for purchases if possible. Think of your credit card as something that you use when you need to finance a major expense, and then work to pay it off as quickly as possible. Credit cards are a great way to build up credit if used responsibly, and an effective way to damage credit if used irresponsibly. I didn't mean to go into a whole financial tangent, honestly. What I meant to talk about was how to work through those emotions without your credit card dragging you to the store. Cool, so now that I'm back to my original thought- if you're still down to read, let's talk about that. What are some things that make you happy? Shooooot SPENDING MONEY- BUYING STUFF- EATING OUT- A FULL GAS TANK! Ok, besides those things. For me, it's some fresh flowers, taking a walk outside, someplace green & beautiful, going to the beach, talking with a good friend, laughing at nonsense on YouTube, playing with my dog, hanging out with my family. Some of those things cost money, but $10 or less (minus the beach cuz for me the drive = gas). Some of the other options just take a conscious decision to do so. Find things that you love to do that don't impact your wallet. When you save more, you can do more... For you, your future, and for others.

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It's really a shame how we as a people don't want anything we have to work hard for. In the age of microwave instant gratification and easily replaceable or upgradable "valuables," does anything truly have value anymore? Relationships? Assets? Mental health? Our souls?
We attempt to fill voids but still remain unfulfilled. We force puzzle pieces and wonder why our lives continue to be fragmented. We push and pull only until we become uncomfortable then move on to the next best thing, the next easiest thing. We want people to pour into containers with holes we don't even attempt to mend. Anything that takes work isn't worth the effort. When did this happen? 
We as a people need to do better. We need to build up where we've torn down. We need to sow seeds where we've burned acres of each others hopes and dreams. We need to affirm that life can be better, we can be healthier, and marriages can reach 50 year anniversaries with laugher and tears, hard work and happy times. If it's broken fix it. Some things take band aids and some things take surgical procedures. Some wounds take time to heal and forgiveness doesn't always equal friendship... But we live and we learn if we continue to live and we choose to learn. Keep pushing forward and make conscious decisions for the betterment of the people in your circle of influence, yourself included. Love on you and love on others. It's not always comfortable but it's worth it, and everyone benefits.

Dear Future Husband

Dear future husband,
I am an independent woman, 
I can finance myself. 
I also know that when God intends for me to marry, I will be a submissive woman, to the man that loves me the way Christ loves His church. 
Dear future husband,
I am an independent woman, 
I don't need or want you for your paycheck. 
I can purchase my own shoes, bags, and pay my own bills. 
I do need you to spend time with me, pray for me, support me, pray with me, spend time with God with me, and seek God with me in all things. 
Dear future husband,
I am an independent woman. 
I am self motivated, career driven, and educated. 
I will encourage you, challenge you, & push you to be the best you that you can be, for you, for us, and for God. I honestly expect the same from you. If we aren't the ones building each other up and pushing each other the hardest, then who is? No one will root harder for you, than me. 
Dear future husband,
The way this thing should operate is teamwork, remembering that the man is the head of the household right after God Himself, and the woman was crafted from the mans side, not his head... not his feet.
Dear future husband, 
Just because I am independent doesn't mean I don't wish to feel wanted and fought for. I still wish to be wooed, courted, and pursued. I still wish to be cherished, to love, and to be loved. I still wish to be desired, thought of as beautiful, romanced, and to be someone's priority. 
Dear future husband, 
I look forward to meeting you, if I haven't already. Please know my being an independent woman will never take away from your masculinity. Please know that I will be the best partner and sidekick I can be to you. Please know that my independence now doesn't take away from my ability and willingness to be a team player. Please know that my independence doesn't take away from my desire for a family and for companionship. I look forward to growth, and I look forward to the hard work it takes to maintain a good thing. I look forward to much laugher, communication, and doing this thing called life together. I look forward to keeping God as the glue and the only third party ever to be between us. Keep seeking God, keep hope alive, keep growing, keep learning, keep loving. I'll see you soon. 
In patient hope towards love always,
Your future wife.